Let’s learn the “charter spectrum technique”.
How to understand what you really want, enjoy the decision and never regret it.
“What do you think I should do?”
Raise your right hand if you asked this question at least once in your life.
Raise your left hand if you have received this question from a friend at least once in your life.
Why do we do it? Why do we need to ask someone else for our decisions?
We wish to have another opinion, because we want to feel “less responsible” for the choice we are making, to feel less guilty if something will go in a wrong way.
And we end up making choices in 2 or more.
It’s normal, we are humans. We need support.
But how can I make sure I made the right choice? My choice?
I cannot. There are not magic option strategies. I take the risk…always.
But what is important is to know that I will not regret it. In doing so, whatever the response will be, positive or negative, I will be happy.
How do you do?
With the “charter spectrum technique”.
Let’s imagine a friend asking:
“Do you think I should break up with him?”
Would you answer “definitely yes, do it” (and 1 month later she will understand he was actually the love of her life and she feels super bad),
or “absolutely not, don’t do it” (and 1 month later she will find out he cheated on her again and she feels super bad)?
Let’s rather try to help our friend analysing the options and take the best choice for her.
When I was working in a clinic, with the famous “steady job” that everyone is desperately looking for (if you know me or have read my bio you know how rebellious I am about it), I was not satisfied. I said to myself that I wanted more, that I didn’t want to do what I was doing, that I wanted to improve (and let’s be clear that “improving” has a different meaning for everyone! What maybe makes me grow, is not what makes you grow, because you want something different).
I wanted to have an experience abroad, to specialize myself and in the meanwhile learning a new language, knowing different people, places and cultures.
I found a master’s degree in “Tropical Sports Physiotherapy” in Bali.
I decided to apply.
Few days later I received the result: they accepted me.
Here came the dilemma. It’s always like that.
When you try to do something new, exiting your comfort zone, you always have the doubt that makes you stay in the limbo: you are not sure that you will pass the test, maybe you are not up to it, for sure there is someone better than you…and then BOOOOM, u won. And now you have no more excuses.
You have been good, they have chosen you, you are inside.
You are happy, but… There is always a “but” that makes you ask a thousand questions.
“But if I’ll go, I’ll have to quit my job”
“What if when I’ll finish the master then I won’t find something else?”
“What if I’ll go there and the master will not be what I thought?”
And here comes the friend: “What would you do?”
Guendalina replies “Absolutely yes, go!” and Genoveffa “If I was you, I would not leave a permanent position. You can find a master nearby”
Thanks my friends, I am at the same point, even more confused than before.
So here we have the solution: “the spectrum of options”.
Rule number one: slowing down.
I sat at the table with sheet and pen and I wrote:
I wrote the charter spectrum, the option strategies.
Rule number two: analysis, focusing.
I started to analyse the options:
I am not happy with the current situation.
If I don’t go for the master and I keep my permanent position, I am NOT happy (I stay in the current situation and I don’t improve).
If I go for the master, I am happy.
If when I come back, I will find another job, I will be happy.
If when I come back, I will NOT find another job, I will do something else. BUT I WILL BE HAPPY.
This was my spectrum, my charter spectrum, my spectrum of options.
I had them all in front of me. Reasoned.
Rule number three: awareness.
Any choice I would have made, would have been thought, aware of the consequence it could have.
I couldn’t have had regret, because I knew it.
I went for the master and it was absolutely cool, I can still say the most beautiful experience of my life.
I learned English, I met loads of people (with some of them I am still in touch), I saw wonderful places and I got to know a new culture.
Everything I was looking for.
Those who know me know that Bali was my turning point in life. My good choice.
I finally started following my dreams, that “improving” I was looking for.
I grew up.
And do you know what is the best thing? While I was in Bali I received a job offer from Dubai (do you remember when I was thinking “what if I don’t find a job when I come back?” ;P ).
I did the interview and…I got the job.
And again, I found myself in front of a spectrum of options, another charter spectrum.
(I think you can imagine which option I chose :P)
The work in Dubai was really tough, I hated it sometimes. BUT I NEVER EVER REGRETTED MY CHOICE.
Because when I chose to take it, I knew that no other option would have been like going there, whatever had happened.
This is the technique I use for any decision, my option strategies, to make good choices in life, with no regrets:
Doing so, I am aware about my decision, I consciously choose my option, which I will not regret, because it will be the best I can make.
This is what I do. And what I suggest to my friends and patients…and to you!
So, come on!
Take sheet and pen and create your spectrum
(you will not regret it!)
Serena from the #LiveNow team
Ps. Let us know how it was!